I don’t know why I am writing this, except I fear I never showed you just how much I really love you before you died so suddenly. Then again, when I see our wedding photos, my heart tells me that you knew and you loved me just as much.
You have shown me what love is and what it feels like to be loved. Every time you kissed me and our lips touched softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss, or when I knew you had fallen in love with me when we kissed in Paris, in front of The Louvre. I could feel it when our hearts get so close they beat as one and it took my breath away.
You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body; you are me, because without you I feel that I am nothing, or surely far less than I could be. I love you Martin, you are my love, my husband and my best friend.
You are the person I knew I could turn to when I needed help. You are the person I looked at when I needed to smile and you are the person I went to when I needed a hug. When I was away from you for a few hours, it was like I had left my soul at your side.
You have shown me how to live and you have shown me how to be truly happy. I want you to know that every time I smile, you have put it there. You make me smile when others can’t, you make me feel warm when I am cold.
You have shown me a great deal of love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my whole world and I love you with all my heart. You are my happiness.
I have photos of you around the house, including on my nightstand. Each night before bed, I kiss my fingers then touch your face. I put your photo near our bed so you could look over me as I sleep and keep me safe in my dreams. I’ll always be looking for you in dreams and with my heart.
Martin, I want to say something and I mean this more than I ever did before. You are the love of my life, the man of my dreams. Just because you have passed away does not mean you are not with me. I know you’ll always be looking over me, keeping me safe.
So whenever I feel lonely, and that is quite often, I close my eyes and imagine you’ll be here right by my side and it helps soothe me and eases the pain my heart feels now that you’re gone.
Love always and forever,