It is one of those evenings when sleep eludes me and yet I feel a need to create. Usually this occurs in writing. And although the hour is late, from a gathering of thoughts I am posting in the hopes that I will reach someone out there who will be touched and will understand.
When we are affected by a serious loss, be it a loved one’s death, loss of a job, financial conflicts, an accident creating loss of limb or mental capacity, there is always a life lesson to learn.
Both love and loss gift us with extraordinary life lessons. Some of these are elegant; some shatter us and bring us to our knees in devastation. They’re all necessary to open our hearts to wisdom and faith. Often we are stronger than we think! I know this firsthand as a survivor of suicide – my husband completed suicide May 4, 2010 and I have healed so much, yet there is still further to go. And suicide is something you never ever get over completely. You merely learn to live through it.
And I believe in the words of Winston Churchill who said, “If you think you’re going through Hell, keep on going!”
We all know that hearts are healed in time, but I believe that there are things we can do to make the process of inner healing just a little more tolerable.
It helps to remember that the pain is in the resistance. It really is true that what we resist persists; I know that I have. For the first six months after my husband’s death, I didn’t live; I merely went through life as a dying soul . The more we fight reality, that which we cannot change, the more pain we experience. The more we surrender and let go, the more we open ourselves to the natural flow of life so that the power of love can transport us to a new space of peace and acceptance.
I love the healing words of Achaan Chaa, who reminds us:
Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a great tree in the midst of them all.