Summer time brings much more than beach and pool time with sunshine and hot temperatures. It allows us time for relaxation, playfulness and reflection. The latter is something I’ve been doing much of lately. If allowed to, our mind will go to many different areas of those “file cabinets” in our brains to assess what is there. Without speaking a word, we reflect upon old memories and ask questions which generally remain unanswered in our day-to-day lives.
As for my own reflections, I like to write things down for future reference. Writing things down allows our brain a rest in the possibility that we may not remember had we not journaled. Are you like me? I remember things from years ago yet sometimes cannot remember what I did last week. What did I eat this weekend?
Some of the contemplation on my life surrounds the reasons why our time together for my late husband Martin and me was so short-lived. His death was a tragic event for me as the survivor of my husband’s suicide. Oh I’ve learned to appreciate that short time together because without it I would not have known such real love, laughter and true happiness in my life. Yet why so short … I’m reminded that as a youngster I was considered the “why” girl always asking this particular question. Nonetheless it is how I learned from life’s experiences and asking pertinent questions. Times haven’t changed too much in that regard.
When Martin died, I felt broken – my heart, dreams, love, life itself … broken. I had to heal and to fix those broken things in my life, including my life itself. Then I realized something.
Maybe it’s not always about trying to fix something broken.
Maybe it’s about starting over and creating something better.