Keep the Faith in Yourself


Do you believe in yourself?  Do you believe you can accomplish your goals?  Do you have faith in yourself? 

A stressful habit we may have is lack of faith in ourselves.  We worry about whether we will be able to accomplish what we set out to achieve.  This worry causes stress.

You can obtain any goal you set your heart and mind to.  Whether you believe it or not is just a thought and we are free to choose our thoughts.  The majority of stress is caused because of thoughts we have about the future.

  I know a very successful man who earns $250,000+ yearly, has a great relationship with his wife and child, and has all the luxuries most people dream about.  He discovered his stress was coming from a belief he would be unable to sustain his business and his income.  However, there was no evidence to support that he would be unable to continue to be financially successful.  Matter of fact, all the evidence pointed to him always having clients waiting for his service.  What it all boiled down to was a belief that he would not achieve and lack of faith in himself.  This lack of faith was generated through a habit of his thought process, a belief that he could not obtain his goals. 

My friend has the power to obtain anything he sets his heart on.  We all have this power don’t we?  You can achieve all that you want.  How do I know this?  If you have made it this far in life (no matter how far that is), you are successful.  Look at all the things you have accomplished thus far.  Look at the relationships you have created, look at the jobs/careers you have or had, and look at all your successes so far.

Friends, you are capable of doing anything you set your heart and mind to.  All you have to do is set your heart and mind to it.  It’s a matter of attitude.  I’ve practiced this during my traumatic recovery process and it helps immensely.  My journey is ongoing, but I’m progressing and any forward movement proves I must keep the faith!

If you are having a hard time with having faith in yourself, try this exercise.  I’m working on it and it is helping me through my healing process and in successfully taking the baby steps needed to continue my journey. 
List all accomplishments and milestones in your life.  Include elementary school, Jr. high school, high school, sports, band, chorus, church, arts, relationships, vacations, careers, major purchases and anything else you can think of.  After you make this list, look back at these times and see how you did it.  Chances are you will see that you had ambition, desire, and drive.  I guarantee if you make this list and think over these accomplishments they will remind you how great you really are and how great you continue to be.

Sometimes as we get older, we stop setting goals and we become stagnant.  This may be happening to you and stagnation may increase doubt in yourself.  Remember all the goals you set and accomplished so far in your life and study them.  This will increase your faith in yourself.

Destress yourself by having faith in you and that you can accomplish your goals.  When you do this you’ll discover what you can create in your life.  When you destress yourself, you change your thoughts, feelings, actions and attitude from stressful to successful. 

If you’re stressing out, take back control by listing how far you’ve already come in your life.  Then work on where you want to go and keep the faith in yourself! 


Could You Imagine

Could you imagine when everything was perfect?  Losing myself, drowning in my tears … Lookin’ at me, what do you see … trying to move on, but my mind is still in the clouds.  

 These phrases are from the song  “Could You Imagine”  from the wonderful film by Corben Berenson entitled, “Rust”.  In watching this film, I shed tears, not only for the tenderness the movie presented.  I realized the point here was in recapturing your faith.  Note I did not say religion.  Faith in people and loved ones who feel battered down by life.

 Many of you realize I’m still healing from the tragic loss of my beloved husband, Martin from suicide.  Many who end their life with suicide suffer depression as did Martin.  They lose faith in themselves; they feel worthless and just want to end their pain.  We tend to believe in general that they are so “different” from the rest of us.  But are they?

Whether our tragedy has us reeling from a midlife crisis life, loss of a loved one, loss of career and job, or for many teens peer pressure, we all can begin to lose faith can’t we?  That would be faith in ourselves and in those around us.  We look for support but only find minimal help. 

Tonight I continued to cry out why did Martin do this to me?  Couldn’t he see our love meant the world to me?  How could he do this to us, his family and friends?  A few minutes later, it struck me like a bolt of lightning.  Had he “done” this to me, to us?  Hadn’t he hurt himself to STOP HIS PAIN?  He never thought of me at the time.  And hadn’t I already forgiven him because I love him?  The answers:  a resounding yes. 

Truth is I didn’t see the signs Martin displayed.  I didn’t know how or what he suffered.  Truth is I do now!  What can I /we do about the here and now?  For me, I’m writing and talking about what has happened to me.  I’m researching everything and I’m sharing with everyone I know, everywhere I can.  What I ask is that you “try” doing the same. 

Could you imagine someone you love feeling so depressed they are considering suicide?  I hope you never do.  Truth is however there are  approximately 35,000 suicides in the U.S. yearly.  That translates to 94.8 suicides per day; 1 suicide every 15.2 minutes.  Staggering when you see those numbers isn’t it? 

I ask that you become astutely aware of those around you.  The most important thing anyone can do for the depressed person is to help him/her get a diagnosis and treatment.  This may involve encouraging the individual to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to abate (several weeks), or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs.  The depressed person should be encouraged to obey the doctor’s orders about the use of alcohol while on medication. 

The second most important thing is to offer emotional support.  This involves understanding, patience, affection and encouragement.  Engage the depressed person in conversation and listen carefully.  Do not disparage feelings expressed, but point out realities and offer hope.  Invite the depressed person for walks, outings, to the movies and other activities.  Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused.  And try again another time.  Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, cultural activites, writing or painting or music.  But do not push the depressed person to undertake too much too soon.  The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.  Most important:  they need YOU along with your love and support. 

So I ask you all, could you imagine ….